What to say to children before a divorce

When the decision to divorce has been made, parents must find the best way to break the news to kids.

After the decision to get a divorce has been made, parents in Colorado must face the difficult task of breaking the news to their kids. Depending upon the ages of any children, the reactions and concerns will vary greatly as will the general comprehension of the news. Moms and dads in this situation can help their children by handing conversations about divorce appropriately.

Have a vision

All through the divorce process, the goal of helping kids maintain strong relationships with both parents can be a guiding principle. This is, of course, barring unusual circumstances like abuse or violence in the home. One way to achieve this goal is to keep lines of communication open, as noted by the Huffington Post. Children of divorce must split time between parents but that should not limit all communication. Allowing phone calls, texts and other interactions to happen naturally and at any time can help keep bonds strong.

The first conversation

Some people may be nervous about first telling their children about an impending divorce. This is understandable. Psychology Today recommends that this be done with all children present at the same time. This approach puts all children on the same level and gives everyone the same information together.

Certainly at this meeting, different siblings may have different questions. Some of these can be answered at a group meeting but others may be better handled offline in one-on-one conversations.

Individual talks

Talking to children individually allows parents the ability to give information to kids that is appropriate to their maturity levels. For example, Today's Parent explains that kids between three and five are most likely to need continual reassurance about their daily lives. Talks with these children should center around where they will live, who will tuck them in at night, when they will see which parent, and so forth.

Handling adolescents who resist parental conversations about a divorce can be very tricky. Parents should resist the urge to not pursue talks with them. Instead, reminding kids that the door is always open is the way to go. Conversations can sometimes be started by addressing topics indirectly so that teens don't feel pressured to talk about themselves specifically.

In the middle of these groups are kids who can be tempted to blame one parent or the other for the divorce. They can also sometimes assume the blame themselves. Parents will want to keep an eye out for flags that may indicate this is happening.

Starting off

While having conversations with kids appropriate to their age level, when first telling them about the divorce, a single meeting with all siblings is best according to Psychology Today. This prevents any discord between siblings based upon who was told this important information first.

Issues like these represent just some of the many nuances that Salt Lake City parents can experience during a divorce. Working with an experienced family law attorney is important as it can ensure that all legal aspects are properly handled. This will allow parents the best ability to focus on the emotional need of their children.

Getting it under control

During a divorce, many parts of life can feel out of one's control. Securing the legal right help with important issues can help make things feel more stable during a time of many changes. It also can allow Colorado parents the time and energy to attend to their children's needs through the process.