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What Colorado parents should know about children during a divorce


A divorce alters the lives of more than the couple involved; it changes their children's lives, too. Even the most amicable breakup can still have an emotional toll on children. For parents divorcing in Colorado, as elsewhere in the country, this can be a hard fact to accept. However, accepting this truth can help both parents and their children ride the emotional roller coaster more easily.

One truth is that children in general are not particularly resilient. Many parents think that children can adapt easily and that, if the parents are okay, the children will be also. But children struggle to comprehend what is happening, and they experience grief over the loss of the world they have probably known all their lives. Parents should let their children accept these changes in their own time.

Most likely, too, one spouse will be more emotionally upset than the other. Divorce is an emotional merry-go-round, and even if parents step off it, they can still be left dizzy and shaken. Expect feelings of betrayal, revenge and anger - as well as depression. Such feelings may be understood by the other spouse, but they can be frightening to children. When a parent seems to be in a downward spiral, children are affected.

Expect problems. These do not end with divorce. Some - perhaps emotional, perhaps financial - will certainly arise. It is important that parents weather them without compromising the best interest of their children.

Finally, divorcing parents should accept the fact that no amount of money can make them better parents. Parenting is difficult whether they are in the middle of a child custody dispute or are adopting a co-parenting approach. Parents have to manage their pain in order to be there for their children as best they can even in this most difficult of situations.

Source: The Huffington Post, "5 Inconvenient Truths About Divorcing With Children," Rebecca Bitton, April 30, 2014

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