For some Wheat Ridge, Colorado, divorcing couples, it may be easy to talk badly about one's soon-to-be former spouse especially if a divorce is acrimonious. Others may even argue that it is justifiable. However, it may be wise to avoid these kinds of insults, if only for the benefit of the children.
Typically, the end of a marriage is an emotional rollercoaster and the ups and downs of a case can cause emotions to run high, causing couples to lash out at each other. A divorced mother of three recently shared her thoughts about such behavior.
She stated that the negative emotions of a divorce should not be shared with children. Nor should they be verbalized. Although children may be aware of the events that led to the divorce, they should not be privy to the pains and frustrations of their parents. Children love both parents and they should not feel compelled to hate one parent.
When other people spoke negatively about her ex-husband in front of the children, she said she immediately interrupted them. She stated she did her best to correct the ill-advised words to her children. When children complained about their father, she pointed out another perspective to help them understand the situation better. Although her ex-husband failed to do the same, she clarified to the children that sometimes when people are unhappy, they say things they do not mean.
This may appear like a sacrifice to some people, but what Wheat Ridge divorcing couples should realize is that verbally bashing a parent is selfish and counter-productive. It alienates children and creates a rift between children and a parent they also love. While divorcing parents may have been unable to do the right thing to save the marriage, they can do the right thing and save their relationship with their children.
Source: Tampa Bay Times, "Don't let the dialogue of divorce damage the kids," Heather Tempesta, Mar. 12, 2014