While there is not exact science or formula you can use to predict exactly how your children will react when you tell them that you and your spouse have chosen to separate or get a divorce, you will want to be extra sensitive to how they are feeling. Children will experience a gamut of emotions, just like you will, and they will deal with these emotions in their own way. Some may want to talk through everything, while others seem to retreat and don’t want to discuss it. However your children react, the most important thing you can do is be there for them in whatever way they need you.
Divorce and Anxiety in Children: Change Can Lead to Stress for Children During a Divorce
The most common reaction in children when they hear their parents are divorcing is anxiety. They wonder what will happen to them and how the upcoming changes will affect them. This is where consistency is key. Present a solid plan to you kids. Tell them exactly what they can expect. For school aged kids, it’s likely they will have a friend or know someone whose parents are divorced. The idea of going to mom or dad’s house for the weekend will not be a foreign concept. But, change is hard. Prepare you kids for exactly what their schedule will look like. They may ask if it will change schools or what about any pets, toys, etc.? Be ready to answer these types of questions and most of all, continue to reassure them that they are loved and will be taken care of no matter what happens.
Emotional Effects Divorce Has on Children: The Changes You May See in Your Kids
Your kids may show some emotional regressions and changes both at home and at school as they are processing and dealing with the divorce. You may see mood shifts, anger, depression, acting out, or clinginess. No matter how your child reacts, it’s important to remember that this will not last forever as long as you support and love your child through this time. This is their way of processing and dealing with the changes. It can be a difficult time, but focus on keeping things as normal and consistent as possible. Kids are resilient and will be able to adapt to their new normal. Often individual and family counseling can help with this process as well.
If you are ready to get a divorce, contact the best family law attorneys from the Pearman Law Firm at 720-259-9528 or toll free at for a free initial phone consultation.
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