Even though you have chosen to get divorced, sharing children with your ex means you need to maintain communication. This realization may cause you stress and uncertainty as you adjust your relationship from an intimate one to a formal one.
Navigating the tricky balance of defining personal boundaries, as well as keeping your ex informed of things related to your children and their well-being will take time. Knowing some strategies can help you confront this new challenge with confidence and poise.
Identify topics of agreement
Even if you and your ex disagree on just about everything, both of you probably agree that your children are more important than disagreements. According to NBC News, one of the best ways to communicate with someone who shares different opinions than your own is to identify topics of agreement. Highlighting similarities in thinking and parenting may help you keep a reasonable perspective about continuing a relationship with your ex.
Never rely on your children to do the talking for you. Recognize their need to develop and continue a relationship with their other parent and advocate for them. If you need to address a serious issue with your ex, find time to do it away from your children. If possible, use a public or controlled space to minimize the temptation to let tempers take over.
Adjust your paradigm
Even though your relationship may not have turned out the way you had hoped, your ex may still have valuable parenting qualities. Adjust your paradigm to see your ex as a responsible and dedicated parent rather than an unfit partner.
Your effort to communicate with your ex can also show your children that you can continue a relationship despite differences. You can teach them valuable, lifelong lessons including the power of resilience and how treating others with civility and integrity can benefit everyone.