Even when a couple has a relatively amicable divorce and child custody agreement, it does not mean that co-parenting will be a walk in the park. There will definitely be baggage that makes it more difficult to get along. Often there are power struggles, where both parents want to be the one making the decisions and they don’t want to give up any control. This is a possibility you need to prepare for if you are getting divorced. Here are some tips on how to manage these situations, so you can be the best co-parent for your children.
Things to Try When it Comes to Communicating with Your Ex About the Kids: Arvada Divorce Lawyer
1. Mediation – If communicating effectively becomes a roadblock for your co-parenting, then you may want to consider mediation. This will allow an impartial third party to listen t both sides and attempt to help both parties compromise – keeping in mind that the children are the most important element in the need for communication.
2. Refer to your custody agreement – If you and your former spouse are having issues compromising, it’s best just to refer to and stick to the custody agreement. For example, if your ex wants to switch visitation arrangement for one weekend, but is not willing to switch things around when you need it, it may be best to stop allowing any modifications. Not to be vengeful, but simply to keep the peace. It keeps the expectations and schedule stable and leaves no room for issues.
3. Be honest – When communicating with your former spouse about your children, be honest about your expectations. It’s unfair to assume or expect that your ex can read your mind. Come to the table with ideas about what you want to get accomplished or discuss. If you have any idea about what your child’ curfew should be- just say it. Don’t dance around the conversation hoping your ex will just know what time you were thinking. Also, be open to listening if your ex has a different idea. Listen to his or her reasoning with a spirit of compromise and openness.
4. Set the rules – While each of your homes will run a little differently, come to an agreement on some basic rules that apply to both homes. This will keep things consistent for your kiddos and make discussing any issues easier, because there is a commonality between the two homes.