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Can “nesting” help our divorcing family?

| Feb 4, 2021 | Divorce |

It can be very difficult to go through a divorce with children. There are various concerns when you are doing this. They are certainly not limited to sitting down and having “the talk” with the children. Once you and your ex-spouse have decided to go your separate ways, you still will have a connection by virtue of the kids. 

Dealing with a post-divorce living situation often causes families a lot of stress. One remedy is to try a “nesting” living arrangement. Nesting mimics the parenting of birds in that it involves the babies staying in the “nest,” or the same domicile, while the parents are the ones doing the moving in and out. 

What problems does this solve?

Moving children between two separate living arrangements can be very stressful. This is particularly true if you have a child with special needs that requires specific medical equipment. It can also become a big fight with older children, who may resent moving back and forth more than younger children do. 

Keeping the children in one living arrangement solves these problems. Instead, the parents are the ones who take on the onus of movement. Particularly at the beginning stages of divorce, this can be helpful as it gives the parents needed distance from each other without disrupting the children. 

Where will I live?

Where the parents live often depends on how permanent the nesting arrangement is. In temporary nesting situations, the parents often sleep on the couches of their families and friends. If a nesting arrangement is more permanent, it is not uncommon for the parents to maintain a separate apartment. The parent that is not in the house with the children will then live in this apartment. 

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